Josh's Testimony
I was born in Charlottetown, Prince Edward Island, Canada in 1977 an was raised in a home with no acknowledgement of God. Mom and Dad divorced before I can remember. I had a good childhood although there was a history of alcoholism on both my parent's sides of the family. So there was a lot of drinking while I grew up, but mom loved my brother and I, so it was all good.
In grade 6 I started listening to Satanic music. My first albums were: Motley Crue- "Shout at the Devil", Slayer- "South of Heaven", and Metallica-"Kill em All". I started drawing pentagrams and upside down crosses on myself and all my school books.
In grade 9 I started having suicidal tendencies. There was no reason for any of this. It all just came about on it's own.
In grade 10 I started into drugs, and my drinking increased also. My involvement in the occult increased 100 fold and I was into almost every area you could name. The Ouija board was my specialty. It was well known around high school that if you truly wanted to see the Ouija board in action, you came to me. I talked to principalities and powers in high ranking demonic positions over certain places above the earth. Satan told me (on several occasions) that he was coming that very night to take me to hell. I mocked him and asked him why he just didn't come and take me at that instant? (I never knew why he didn't until I got a revelation about it at Holy Given one day. God told me Satan couldn't take me cause of the plans He had for my life. Even though I gave the devil permission, he couldn't take my life. Similar to Job's experience.) So these experiences with the ouija board actually did some of my friends some good, seeing that it terrified them and they wouldn't fool with it anymore. So, during high school I also got involved in witchcraft and casting spells. Nothing too serious, I usually hurt myself more than other people. But the real story was my depression. I became incredibly depressed. Nightmares plagued me. Dreams of killing people, of being killed, of plane crashes, bombings, demons, hell, etc etc etc.
Loneliness fed all these other demonic manifestations. I became socially isolated. When I went to parties I would take my alcohol and drugs and go by myself to a corner. I would get wasted and just watch people. Studying them. Seeing how they lied and cheated each other. For years I did this. It proved not to be healthy.
After a terrible relationship, the devil worship subsided a bit but the depression, insomnia, nightmares, drug use, etc all increased. I traveled to Amsterdam 4 times in 3 years just to do drugs and try to numb the pain a bit.
In Sep/00, I had a major, MAJOR depressive episode. I hit rock bottom. I was put on antidepressant after antidepressant, with no results. I acquired extreme anxiety attacks, which required more medication. My depression, nightmares, insomnia, social withdrawal, self hatred, grew much, much worse. It sucked.
I applied to a nursing course and was accepted but I was thrown out because of my unstable mental health. I started seeing a psychiatrist. At this time suicide was not an option. This is hard to explain, but I'll try. I hated myself so much that I thought I didn't deserve for my misery to end. I felt I had to live out the rest of my life in total misery and hopelessness. To kill myself would be a blessing cause all this mess would be over. I felt I didn't deserve that. So I fed my depression to keep it alive and growing. It consumed me.
But.....in the nursing course (Jan/01), I met a chicwho was in a similar life situation as me. We were talking after class one day and she told me that I should read the new testament she had. I said "why not".It was either that or something much worse. So I did. When I got to Revelation 21:4- "And He shall wipe away every tear from their eyes. There shall be no more death; there shall be no more mourning, or crying, or pain, for the first things have passed away". That verse broke me. I finished the new testament and couldn't deny the truth that God really did love me. It flooded me. For the next 7 mths all I did was read the Bible and get stoned. I came out of it saved. No preachers, no church, no Christian friends; just the Word of God.
I started attending Faithworks Center in Sep/01. The next month, a prophet from South Africa called Ron Kussmaul came to the church and invited people on stage to be baptized in the Holy Spirit. He said that there was 10 people in the congregation who needed to be up on stage. After about 20 min of him waiting, the Spirit convicted me enough to go up. He went down the row praying for us individually and when he got to me he said, "I've been waiting for you." It was kind of funny. I was baptized in the Holy Ghost, spoke in tongues, publicly professed Christ, yada, yada, yada. That very night, drug and alcohol addiction, anxiety, witchcraft, devil worship and the occult, and more fell off me. It was crazy.
The story continues:
- baptism (Sep/02).
- joined the worship team (Mar/03).
- RSA & Maputo, Mozambique (Mar/04).
- Maputo & Xai Xai, Mozambique (Mar/05).
- student of inaugural Holy Given: International School of Missions in Pemba, Mozambique. (Summer/05)
- Sep/06; I was in Toronto at TACF's Catch The Fire conference for a rip roaring Holy Ghost moment. I came back to PEI and started volunteering in a Soup Kitchen, managing a Men's Residence for Harvest House Ministries, and I enrolled in a 2 yr course at Peter Youngren's World Impact Bible Institute.
- During Bible College, I led evangelism teams around St Catharines and tried to impart the things I was responsible to God for. Much growth and fruit resulted with a 'street church' being planted in a nursing/group home by myself, Jenny, and 3 other Bible College students.
- Summer of 2007; return to Mozambique to help staff Holy Given 5: Intl School of Missions.
Then helped staff the inaugural Holy Given: Russiaschool. I did some ministry in southern Russia (includingBeslan) and also did some ministering in St Petersburg.
I returned to Canada and preached (with Jenny) in some nursing homes, and at our nursing/group home church.
- In the summer of 2008, Jenny & I were employed Double H Ranch; a camp for chronically ill children in Lake Luzerne, NY.
- On September9/08 Jenny & I were married at The Little White Wedding Chapel in Las Vegas, Nevada. We did a Drive-Thru ceremony. I have inherited such a treasure in Jenny!
- Oct24/08: Jenny and I land in Cambodia where we worked with New Life in Christ Church 8 months.
- Summer/09: Employed with Double H Ranch again.
............................to be continued
In grade 6 I started listening to Satanic music. My first albums were: Motley Crue- "Shout at the Devil", Slayer- "South of Heaven", and Metallica-"Kill em All". I started drawing pentagrams and upside down crosses on myself and all my school books.
In grade 9 I started having suicidal tendencies. There was no reason for any of this. It all just came about on it's own.
In grade 10 I started into drugs, and my drinking increased also. My involvement in the occult increased 100 fold and I was into almost every area you could name. The Ouija board was my specialty. It was well known around high school that if you truly wanted to see the Ouija board in action, you came to me. I talked to principalities and powers in high ranking demonic positions over certain places above the earth. Satan told me (on several occasions) that he was coming that very night to take me to hell. I mocked him and asked him why he just didn't come and take me at that instant? (I never knew why he didn't until I got a revelation about it at Holy Given one day. God told me Satan couldn't take me cause of the plans He had for my life. Even though I gave the devil permission, he couldn't take my life. Similar to Job's experience.) So these experiences with the ouija board actually did some of my friends some good, seeing that it terrified them and they wouldn't fool with it anymore. So, during high school I also got involved in witchcraft and casting spells. Nothing too serious, I usually hurt myself more than other people. But the real story was my depression. I became incredibly depressed. Nightmares plagued me. Dreams of killing people, of being killed, of plane crashes, bombings, demons, hell, etc etc etc.
Loneliness fed all these other demonic manifestations. I became socially isolated. When I went to parties I would take my alcohol and drugs and go by myself to a corner. I would get wasted and just watch people. Studying them. Seeing how they lied and cheated each other. For years I did this. It proved not to be healthy.
After a terrible relationship, the devil worship subsided a bit but the depression, insomnia, nightmares, drug use, etc all increased. I traveled to Amsterdam 4 times in 3 years just to do drugs and try to numb the pain a bit.
In Sep/00, I had a major, MAJOR depressive episode. I hit rock bottom. I was put on antidepressant after antidepressant, with no results. I acquired extreme anxiety attacks, which required more medication. My depression, nightmares, insomnia, social withdrawal, self hatred, grew much, much worse. It sucked.
I applied to a nursing course and was accepted but I was thrown out because of my unstable mental health. I started seeing a psychiatrist. At this time suicide was not an option. This is hard to explain, but I'll try. I hated myself so much that I thought I didn't deserve for my misery to end. I felt I had to live out the rest of my life in total misery and hopelessness. To kill myself would be a blessing cause all this mess would be over. I felt I didn't deserve that. So I fed my depression to keep it alive and growing. It consumed me.
But.....in the nursing course (Jan/01), I met a chicwho was in a similar life situation as me. We were talking after class one day and she told me that I should read the new testament she had. I said "why not".It was either that or something much worse. So I did. When I got to Revelation 21:4- "And He shall wipe away every tear from their eyes. There shall be no more death; there shall be no more mourning, or crying, or pain, for the first things have passed away". That verse broke me. I finished the new testament and couldn't deny the truth that God really did love me. It flooded me. For the next 7 mths all I did was read the Bible and get stoned. I came out of it saved. No preachers, no church, no Christian friends; just the Word of God.
I started attending Faithworks Center in Sep/01. The next month, a prophet from South Africa called Ron Kussmaul came to the church and invited people on stage to be baptized in the Holy Spirit. He said that there was 10 people in the congregation who needed to be up on stage. After about 20 min of him waiting, the Spirit convicted me enough to go up. He went down the row praying for us individually and when he got to me he said, "I've been waiting for you." It was kind of funny. I was baptized in the Holy Ghost, spoke in tongues, publicly professed Christ, yada, yada, yada. That very night, drug and alcohol addiction, anxiety, witchcraft, devil worship and the occult, and more fell off me. It was crazy.
The story continues:
- baptism (Sep/02).
- joined the worship team (Mar/03).
- RSA & Maputo, Mozambique (Mar/04).
- Maputo & Xai Xai, Mozambique (Mar/05).
- student of inaugural Holy Given: International School of Missions in Pemba, Mozambique. (Summer/05)
- Sep/06; I was in Toronto at TACF's Catch The Fire conference for a rip roaring Holy Ghost moment. I came back to PEI and started volunteering in a Soup Kitchen, managing a Men's Residence for Harvest House Ministries, and I enrolled in a 2 yr course at Peter Youngren's World Impact Bible Institute.
- During Bible College, I led evangelism teams around St Catharines and tried to impart the things I was responsible to God for. Much growth and fruit resulted with a 'street church' being planted in a nursing/group home by myself, Jenny, and 3 other Bible College students.
- Summer of 2007; return to Mozambique to help staff Holy Given 5: Intl School of Missions.
Then helped staff the inaugural Holy Given: Russiaschool. I did some ministry in southern Russia (includingBeslan) and also did some ministering in St Petersburg.
I returned to Canada and preached (with Jenny) in some nursing homes, and at our nursing/group home church.
- In the summer of 2008, Jenny & I were employed Double H Ranch; a camp for chronically ill children in Lake Luzerne, NY.
- On September9/08 Jenny & I were married at The Little White Wedding Chapel in Las Vegas, Nevada. We did a Drive-Thru ceremony. I have inherited such a treasure in Jenny!
- Oct24/08: Jenny and I land in Cambodia where we worked with New Life in Christ Church 8 months.
- Summer/09: Employed with Double H Ranch again.
............................to be continued
