It was just a couple of weeks ago that some girls and I planned to go out together. It was a sunny Saturday, and the heat was almost putting me to sleep as I sat at my desk in the office glancing every so often at the clock. I opened up a grammar book and looked over examples of some tenses, so that my time spent waiting for them wouldn't totally be wasted. The girls never did show up.
 I was actually surprised by how disappointed I was. I really shouldn't have been surprised. I don't exaggerate when I say that it's been perhaps more than a dozen times that Josh and I have agreed to meet with people, only for them to not show up. By this time, it would be wise to just not expect anything, and then be surprised if someone does show up.
I didn't want to feel upset but I found myself thinking terrible thoughts and struggling to just shrug it off. Unlike past times, the reality of being the English girl and wanting to be known by the others girls my age perhaps only for that reason, struck me hard. I would much rather regard the people I teach and work with as students and co-workers rather than friends, because I think it is a lot less complicated to keep the relationship professional, and gives less opportunity for offense and jealousy. But still, whenever I heard the front gate open I stretched to see if it was the girls, and felt slighted by their lack of consideration.
I returned to the house and told Josh what happened. I sat down beside him and contemplated aloud whether I would even continue to make plans with people outside of work or school. We both agreed that we probably wouldn't bother anymore. It was that evening at dinner when both of our thinking seemed to shift. Our perspectives changed arriving together at the same conclusion.
We reveled in the scripture 2 Timothy 2:13: 'If we are faithless, He remains faithful, for He cannot deny Himself.' How many times have we stood up God? Maybe we purposed to wake up early and pray or set aside a time in the day to spend alone with God, but it never happened. Maybe we've spent days or even weeks simply not talking with God and consulting Holy Spirit about our decisions, although He so badly wants our attention. And yet, God does not withhold Himself from us. It is in humility that He comes to us when we make ourselves available. He continues to meet with us and lavish us with His presence. He remains faithful and pours out. God doesn't remain faithful because we're faithful. God is faithful because that is who He is;He is faithful. He doesn't just respond according to what we do, but rather, according to who He is.
I felt bitterness fall off me like scales falling off the blind eyes of Saul. We are here to serve. We don't just act in response to how people treat us. We act in response to the new nature God has given us. We don't love because people deserve love. We love because God is love and He has put His very love in our hearts. (1 John 4:7). We aren't patient because people deserve our patience but because Jesus is alive inside of us and He wants to show Himself through us. Anyone can be good to those who are good to them, but isn't it the miracle of the Christian life that we are different. We are to bring love where there is strife and light where there is darkness.  Is it not God's will that we walk in the spirit, giving ourselves away in servanthood and humility just as Jesus did?
Jesus didn't receive an ounce of what He deserved while He walked on this planet. The creator of the world worthy of all glory was content to ride a donkey as people waved branches shouting 'Hosanna', and this was very much short lived compared to his life of hard work, and death by betrayal and torture. If the king of glory didn't receive the honour He deserved, why do we strive for something Jesus didn't even regard important? Why do we yearn after more respect, recognitition and appreciatian than God ever did? Jesus didn't come to be served but came to serve and to save His own enemies. Surely, as people who were once enemies of God we should be so humbled by this.
As I considered this, I stopped feeling sorry for myself and thought again about God's calling on my life.I am a servant. I am to remain faithful because God is faithful and His nature is inside of me. When people disappoint me-I am a servant. When people are thoughtless-I am a servant. When people abandon and betray me-I am a servant. All of this by God's grace.