It was just a couple of weeks ago that some girls and I planned to go out together. It was a sunny Saturday, and the heat was almost putting me to sleep as I sat at my desk in the office glancing every so often at the clock. I opened up a grammar book and looked over examples of some tenses, so that my time spent waiting for them wouldn't totally be wasted. The girls never did show up.
 I was actually surprised by how disappointed I was. I really shouldn't have been surprised. I don't exaggerate when I say that it's been perhaps more than a dozen times that Josh and I have agreed to meet with people, only for them to not show up. By this time, it would be wise to just not expect anything, and then be surprised if someone does show up.
I didn't want to feel upset but I found myself thinking terrible thoughts and struggling to just shrug it off. Unlike past times, the reality of being the English girl and wanting to be known by the others girls my age perhaps only for that reason, struck me hard. I would much rather regard the people I teach and work with as students and co-workers rather than friends, because I think it is a lot less complicated to keep the relationship professional, and gives less opportunity for offense and jealousy. But still, whenever I heard the front gate open I stretched to see if it was the girls, and felt slighted by their lack of consideration.
I returned to the house and told Josh what happened. I sat down beside him and contemplated aloud whether I would even continue to make plans with people outside of work or school. We both agreed that we probably wouldn't bother anymore. It was that evening at dinner when both of our thinking seemed to shift. Our perspectives changed arriving together at the same conclusion.
We reveled in the scripture 2 Timothy 2:13: 'If we are faithless, He remains faithful, for He cannot deny Himself.' How many times have we stood up God? Maybe we purposed to wake up early and pray or set aside a time in the day to spend alone with God, but it never happened. Maybe we've spent days or even weeks simply not talking with God and consulting Holy Spirit about our decisions, although He so badly wants our attention. And yet, God does not withhold Himself from us. It is in humility that He comes to us when we make ourselves available. He continues to meet with us and lavish us with His presence. He remains faithful and pours out. God doesn't remain faithful because we're faithful. God is faithful because that is who He is;He is faithful. He doesn't just respond according to what we do, but rather, according to who He is.
I felt bitterness fall off me like scales falling off the blind eyes of Saul. We are here to serve. We don't just act in response to how people treat us. We act in response to the new nature God has given us. We don't love because people deserve love. We love because God is love and He has put His very love in our hearts. (1 John 4:7). We aren't patient because people deserve our patience but because Jesus is alive inside of us and He wants to show Himself through us. Anyone can be good to those who are good to them, but isn't it the miracle of the Christian life that we are different. We are to bring love where there is strife and light where there is darkness.  Is it not God's will that we walk in the spirit, giving ourselves away in servanthood and humility just as Jesus did?
Jesus didn't receive an ounce of what He deserved while He walked on this planet. The creator of the world worthy of all glory was content to ride a donkey as people waved branches shouting 'Hosanna', and this was very much short lived compared to his life of hard work, and death by betrayal and torture. If the king of glory didn't receive the honour He deserved, why do we strive for something Jesus didn't even regard important? Why do we yearn after more respect, recognitition and appreciatian than God ever did? Jesus didn't come to be served but came to serve and to save His own enemies. Surely, as people who were once enemies of God we should be so humbled by this.
As I considered this, I stopped feeling sorry for myself and thought again about God's calling on my life.I am a servant. I am to remain faithful because God is faithful and His nature is inside of me. When people disappoint me-I am a servant. When people are thoughtless-I am a servant. When people abandon and betray me-I am a servant. All of this by God's grace.

"Good morning, teacher, how are you?" is what the children greet in unison when I enter the classroom. They stand at their desks attentively with their hands together. They sit down when I tell them it's ok and not before chiming 'thank you, teacher!' Now, don't be fooled. These children aren't anymore well behaved than kids anywhere else, but school formalities just look a little different here, and respect for teachers is simply a part of their hierarchical culture. 
I do enjoy teaching the grade twos and grades threes. I alternate between the two classes on a weekly basis. Josh does the same with the grade ones and fours. We have shamelessly fixed it so we may teach our very favourites. The grade twos bring me back to joy of stickers and the excitement of being chosen to be a 'helper'. The grade threes make me realize how easy I have it with the grades twos, and they make me laugh so much.
I am currently marking dictations from the grade three class in which I tested them on six words. Most of them did well, but I can't help but give even a little sticker to the ones who didn't do so well.
The kids here are truly beautiful and so funny. I'm serious whenever I tell someone that Josh and I would have returned here just for the kids. 
Just this morning at church, one of our grade 4 students, named Dalin, performed a traditional Khmer dance along with Pastor Sally and some of the women staff. Josh and I watched her feeling so proud and wishing that we would have brought our camera. It was only about twenty minutes later that the students must have been released from Sunday school early, and a couple of them stood behind Josh and I (we were sitting in the back row), clinging to our shoulders, massaging us and singing. Josh and I couldn't help laughing but we were also telling them to  be quiet, which we know always works well with kids.
I appreciate my relationship with the kids. I can be so task-oriented and as I rush past them during recess, on my short route to the office, they help me remember to stop and take a break to play.
But what means more than anything, is that the kids are learning about their God who made them, loves them and cherishes them everyday. In some of the classrooms we actually have a view of a Buddhist temple nearby, and it's with this temple in the background that the kids learn about Jesus, pray and sing songs to their Heavenly Father, who listens to every word.
I look at these kids and I see in Cambodia a new generation being trained up of lovers and leaders for Jesus, to love this world selflessly, preaching His gospel, and ushering in His bride.

Maybe it isn't the most romantic place. After all, it is also a gas station and convenience store, but it's only a ten minute walk from the house, and the food is delicious. It’s name ‘USA Donuts’ pretty much speaks for itself. I haven’t seen one donut in the place, but the little restaurant does offer some very tempting American cuisine.

During our last trip to Cambodia, Josh and I made it a point to have date night once a week. This usually happened on Sundays since that was the one night where nothing was going on here in the evenings, and even now that we’ve returned, it still is the perfect day to leave the pots and pans in the cupboard and pick out a restaurant to venture to.

 Here in Cambodia, eating out can be very cheap, with dishes costing as little as $2. It can be the ‘getting there’ that starts to add up, and that’s why it was so convenient today, just to walk to that little restaurant only a few blocks away. And what can be wrong about sliced deli meat, tomatoes, onions and mustard served inside a hot croissant?

 Every day, Josh and I are together most of the time. We do teach separately, but even then we’re in the same building, and then we spend most of our free time together. It’s certainly not the more traditional situation of the husband and wife uniting together at dinner after being apart all day because of their different jobs.

  Even though we’re pretty much together all day, the days here are full and busy. Work can occupy the mind in such a way where I’m not engaging entirely in my husband, but rather thinking about whether I should give my 5:30 class a dictation or not. Many of our conversations very naturally consist of talking about school and student-related situations since that is now another common bond between the two of us, and something that we are a part of together. Also, since the house we live in is on the same property as the school, it’s easy to stay here for several days without needing to go anywhere.

 Needless to say, we almost find it essential for the two of us to get out together. We set apart this time specially for us to talk outside of work, enjoy each other's company and even have a little change of scenery. We enjoy working with this ministry and we enjoy what we do all week, but we don’t want to neglect each other. As we do ministry together, and as we continue life together, we want to grow together, not apart. There is nothing biblical or pleasing to God about letting ministry take precedence over my spouse. I do think this is a daily effort, but it certainly doesn’t hurt to have a date night!

At the buzz of our alarm in the morning, it almost seems that Cambodia wakes up right along with us. Josh and I get up at 5am and it's not long before we hear the rooster crowing. Cambodia as a culture, enjoys getting up early.  Someone even told me that if you're not out sweeping your porch by 6am, your neighbors will think you're lazy.

 As Josh prepares his coffee and I pour myself a green tea, sounds of the open market chime outside our window; the clinks, clanks, laughs and hollers of people setting down bowls of fish, laying out fruit, gathering up eggs and scraping out rice. The internet is on until 7am, and we use this morning time to read the Bible, plan our English lessons and do any extra tasks on the computer.

 
So that you may have more of a tangible idea of what we do, this is our schedule from Tuesday to Saturday:

 7-8am - we both conduct speaking tests for students who want to enroll in our English school. Students rarely come at this time though.

8-10am- we each teach a class where we train the English teachers. These teachers are graduates from a Bible college in here in Cambodia so they lead Bible studies as well as each teach a class in the English school. So in the class we teach them more English and pretty much teach them how to teach.

10:15-11am-we each go a class and teach English to the children. I am going to be teaching the 2nd and third graders (alternating on different days) and Josh will teach the first and fourth graders.

11am-4pm-is our free time. We use this generous portion of time to practice Khmer, read the Bible, plan lessons, go out and get supplies, etc.

4-5pm- speaking tests

5:30-6:30pm- we each teach an English class.

 
I've always enjoyed morning, but sometimes 5am does come too early, and it's the cold shower that must snap me awake. I'd like to say that the sounds of Cambodia lure me on, but even the uniqueness of a different culture can over time become not to so endearing, and the sounds just become noise. But this is good, because I want even more to say that it is knowing Jesus, that makes my hands turn the pages of the English text book. It is my conviction of His calling that makes me practice the Khmer alphabet and struggle over and over again on the same letter. It is the satisfaction of being able to invest spiritually into others, and the desire to see them do well, that makes me stand in front of my students and try to teach grammar. What we do is a result of what is in our heart, or even more so, who is in our heart.

When I look at my schedule and life from this perspective, although I may feel tired, 5am doesn't come soon enough.